26th September 2004

Sassco 4 NIFC 2.

Unofficial outing ends successfully despite Dunston’s attempt to destroy morale.

Another game against NIFC was hastily scheduled after all the slack arse shits wouldn’t put their hands in their pockets to pay for Paintball. This time we had a minor struggle with players. Gourlay was injured but was press ganged into coming along due to us only having 11. Sammut didn’t even turn up after the 1pm phone call was diverted to voicemail (always a sign that someone ain’t turning up). Boothy is still under the thumb and Digga was apparently hoying up during the Great North Run. So Minnie got the call up and did his duty.

Team was reasonably strong. Watty, as ever, in goal. Gourlay, Gash, Stubba and me along the backline. Stapes, Greenwell, Wardle and Jeff in the middle and up front, the increasingly shite Dunston and Minnie.

NIFC really wanted to beat us this time, and they probably had a better chance of doing it. Last time, we had Nerney on form along with an uninjured Gourlay as well as Galey playing. This time we were out of sorts. The first half was hit and miss. With Dunston, inexplicably, missing from around a centimetre out. Don’t ask me how, but there was more chance of me swearing at the ball and it going in as opposed to Dunston scoring. He spent most of the first half playing “keepy up” before getting bludgeoned off the ball by a huge West African player. Anyway, we did score and it was Minnie who did the good work from Jeff and Greenwell. We conceded though, around five minutes before half time. One of their lads ran through and lashed the ball past a hapless Nutmeg. Despite this, we should have been ahead. Dunston kept missing and Greenwell was really unlucky after he beat around four players only to see his shot squirm wide.

Second half started absolutely diabolically. We were being tortured and it was surprising that we didn’t concede. Watty made some cracking stops, coming mainly from one-on-ones. Eventually the deadly decision had to be made. Dunston was killing us up front and had to be palmed off to the right wing. Jeff was placed in centre mid, and Fatty was plonked up front. He was playing shite in the middle, especially when we didn’t have the ball. Instantly it worked. Jeff flicked a ball on for Wardle who scored. We were on the up. Dunston eventually scored his solitary goal, which was a cracker and Wardle beat the keeper to slot in the fourth. They did manage to score another goal to make it 4-2, but the lad who scored came off the sidelines (injured or taking a drink – who knows?) to poke in the consolation.

Good game, enjoyable outing.

26th September 2004

Fines from Tyne & Wear League.

Not necessary to pay until DFA deals with it.

Many have received letters from Dunsford League requesting payment for around £38. Please note, this isn’t official. Currently, the Durham FA are trying to arrange a meeting with me and the TW League to sort out what we owe. The figure is £224 which equates to around £16-20 each. The process is straightforward. TW League will ask for a payment. You refuse and they will take the matter to Durham FA, who will arrange a meeting with me and TW League to decide on the amount we owe.

I’ll keep all informed.

22nd August 2004

WCFL League Entrance.

Decision to be made this coming week.

I’ve been heavily criticised on the message board for letting Sassco fall into debt. But the facts are plain, also just because I wash the kit and make a few phone calls to get the players ready doesn’t mean I’m going to pay the bills. If I or Boothy walked, the team would instantly collapse – and that’s a fact.

In our first season we had to shell out on kit etc. as well as the league. Also the team was in disarray with players not paying subs etc. but we were clear at the end of the season. Why? Because the league fees were reasonable.

This season the league screwed up and decided to double the monthly’s. This screwed us badly as we don’t really have a proper sponsor.

So Sassco team owed the league £224 in total. This would mean around 11 players (inc myself) being asked to pay £20 to the league to pay it off. This would go to Durham FA. We would be suspended until we actually paid the amount off.

What irks me is that the league have put their own fines of £100 resignation fee, £34 forfeit fee and £75 entrance fee for next season on top of this amount owed. These are basically their own fines. This I am going to appeal against. We finished our fixtures and were free to leave the league. Also charging us £75 for "entering" next season is laughable. This is simply a way of a bankrupt league making more money for themselves. Remember, these are the people who doubled their charges halfway through last season to pay for their bad management.

The only reason I’m holding back on entering the WCFL league is that all the lads would chip in around £25, I'd pay the league fees of £80 + £120 pitch fees and also DFA fees of around £50 then see half the team hit with a suspension just in case it doesn’t get appealed and reduced. If all the lads were hit with a £20 fine, then that isn’t a problem. If they get hit with £40 then that’s a bit more difficult.

19th August 2004

Minnie takes the plaudits.

5-5 draw in the lashing rain.

In increasingly humid weather conditions, we took on Wavendon again, on a Thursday night. The team was as normal, but with Chris Middlemiss guest starring for us. As with all added players, he had a good game and came away with a hat-trick. First half,

We were under the cosh for most of the first but managed to squeeze a couple of goals in reply. Minnie grabbed the reply while Greenwell hit a speculative shot which Butler let through. However, they did gain the upper and it was 3-2 to them at half time.

In the second we improved vastly and gained a goal advantage. At 5-4 we had three gilt edge chances, Digga Greenwell and Minnie all missed good opportunities and they equalised at the end. As mentioned, Minnie grabbed himself a hat-trick, but the highlight was probably Wayne's goal from Digga's corner. This was the first time in two years that we looked dangerous in taking a corner. Greenwell also had a cracking shot against the post from a free kick.

It really began to piss down when Si came on for injured Gash. Then Gash came back on for injured me - then I came back on for injured Wayne. Good laugh though. Ironically this was a strong outfit we had out, far stronger than the previous one which beat the Wavendon. But it was balanced more as that was Wavendon’s first game this season.

8th August 2004

Dunston (somehow) grabs a hat-trick.

Depleted team performs exceptionally well.

Without Wardle and co, and more importantly, without Watty in goal, Sassco were under pressure to get a team out. I managed to get Chris Johnson from Houlston in goal, at least for the first half. And after Tash dropped us in it, we dragged Lee Melia off the streets to play. Apart from that, the team wasn’t too different. We had Jase returning for the first time since the O'Neills friendly game and Ryan McNaught came in to play for a winning team for a change.

Wavendon had shit loads of players. They must have had at least five or six subs and in the searing heat I expected them to come out on top. Like all Sassco games, we started slowly as Wavendon had quite a lot of the play. Chris Johnson made some good stops and defensively we were reasonably strong. We actually went a goal ahead when amiss-hit Muers cross crept into the top corner. 1-0 up and just before the half ended, we gained a second. This time from the spot. Muers scored to give us a handsome 2-0 lead.

The second saw Chris having to leave early, and Dave G, turning up to watch (wearing glasses, etc) was persuaded to go in goal. It was the second half where I expected the team to suffer and concede goals. We certainly did concede, but scored plenty at the other end. We went 4-0 at one stage before Wavendon made their inevitable comeback. They were up to 4-3 at one stage before Muers made it 5-3. Wavendon scored again, but that was their last. It was 5-4 and we pulled ahead. The final score was 7-4. McNerney helped himself to two goals, while Greenwell and Digga got the others. Muers' hat-trick still baffles us all.

Not bad though - this was a line up without Wardle, Stubba, Robason, Boothy, Watty, Kelsey and Jiff. So the result was even more surprising. I was slagged off a bit by playing a few players onside, but the morons who shout "offside" should actually consider looking along the line before shouting it like a bunch of tits. Also defence was being slagged off by the midfield, when it was the midfield losing it and then expecting someone else to pick up the pieces. No matter.

It seems as if we'll be entering the Combination league next season or maybe this season if a team drops out.

5th August 2004

Dov 6 Tash 3.

When Sangha came on to replace Dixon just before half time to inspire a superb second half comeback. For William Harper, the obsessed Sunderland North Manager, it was the equivalent of chopping off his own dick and then getting fucked up his own arse with it.

There isn’t a great deal to say, but I’ll try and milk it for all it’s worth. Old Tash thought the 4-1 win was a flash in the pan and was obsessed with a rematch. I reluctantly agreed and this time it was the Tash who had the full strength team out, while I was looking for players. Luckily we had well enough, with only me as the sub and Gash as a ten-minute hero. You couldn’t see a more contrasting set of ideologies. At 7:05pm, there were only four of us in the changing room. By the team we got on the pitch, the Tash FC team was limbering up by professionally warming up. Us lot were stubbing out old tabs and lighting new ones. Also for the first time, Muers made his friendly debut which was basically asking for it. Also the Stubba / Kelsey confrontation was on hold. Until after the encounter. I needed all my boys fit and ready to go.

Tash’s confidence really put the shits up me as he was ultra-convinced his team wouldn’t fail this time. He had a changed forward line up and also two decent centre halves. But, despite a more promising opening half for them, we erupted. A goal scored was probably my fault by bunging Digga out of position as right back! I eventually switched Muers back there once Digga walked off at his own accord. Too much holiday booze had taken its toll on him. I had to come on and if there’s one game I wanted my full team out, it was this one. Me coming on didn’t bode well at all. But that’s where the fun began.

In the second we scored two quick goals to take a 2-1 lead. They equalised and then we just fired up for more. 6-3 was the final scoreline. Muers, Wardle, Jiff, Greenwell scored and Red Phil got two. We certainly should have had loads more. Jiff shaved the crossbar on occasions and played a true blinder. Wardle looked increasingly comfortable in the second half with Greenwell, and in my opinion, for the first ever time in two years, played excellent in centre mid. Stapes seemingly won all the high balls. Muers had a better second than a first (that’s a compliment). Nerney, again, had a slow start but tortured them in the second. Stubba and Roba were absolute rocks at the back. It showed the dominance considering that when Barry Cook scored their third goal, Stubba was on the wing dragged out of position. Digga had a mare but should have stayed on when I switched him back to right wing. Kelsey didn’t come under any pressure and only went off late with a bad back to be replaced by Gash. Watty was comfortable in goal as well. He punched several times much to some peoples criticism, but having been in goal, the punch is much better than grabbing it and possibly losing it. Well done to all lads. Proud of you all.

There are differing ways to look at this game from a third person’s perspective.

The first is Tash’s obsession to beat my team. He still hasn’t given us any credit and the first thing I heard was that “we never slaughtered them!” We’re running out of fixture slots. How many more times do Sunderland North need to be lashed. Now he was there at the start when we were muppets and lost 8-1. We’ve also had ups and downs over the last two seasons, but the most important thing is that we seem to know where our positions are. We are a very good unit and the team spirit is second to none. This is brought about by myself fully controlling the team and not allowing any prima donnas in. Everyone knows the score in the side. Everyone turns up with full subs and fully kitted and always fully up for it.

Secondly. Tash panicked and changed his team too much. The original line up, in my opinion had a good shape to it. A direct comparison is that from our 8-1 two years ago, Watty, me, Wardle, Greenwell, Dixon, Muers, McNerney and Gourlay were all there and still form the bulk of the team. A little over a year ago, the team which lost 15-1 to Mountain Daisy included, Watty, Roba, Kelsey, Stapes, Greenwell, Wardle, Digga, Muers and Stubba (and me). Keep with the line up – don’t panic over one result. Hembrough is wasted at the back. He “guested” for us against Dennis Jackson’s team and scored four goals and should have had more – say no more. They need proper pace up front. The tall lad on my side of the pitch should have probably been up front. I always bung the likes of McNerney, Jiff and Digga up front simply for their pace.

Also, finally, respect. For some reason, the opposition simply won’t give us any respect. Strange really. If I ask anyone what they think of the likes of Wardle, Greenwell, Stapes, Jiff, McNerney, Watson and Roba, etc (note – no Muers). The response would be very favourable. So just because it’s me running a team, doesn’t make them collectively shite. And remember, I played a half and a bit and felt very comfortable.

Next two games: Sunday against Wavendon KO at 12:00pm, meet at 11:30am. Monday night against Grangetown KO 6:30pm, meet at 6:00pm.

29th July 2004

Defensively weak.

Conceding 11 goals in 2 games doesn’t bode well.

humid and overcast were the only ways to describe the weather. Pissing it down was a more accurate term just before the half time break. We were playing Si Williamsons Sunday morning team, Lambton, and for once we had a reasonably full strength set up. Jiff was back and so was Kelsey, after sleeping with the enemy. I was also playing and Sammut from Ellie Leisure came in for a game to help out of the right hand side.

It was a lively game and in the end we should have won it comfortably. We did go a goal down, but as ever, Jiff equalised and then put us 2-1 ahead. We were controlling the game until Boothy lashed it into the back of the net - his own bleeding net. He's shaved the crossbar, post, etc. on many occasions at the other end during the last two years, but seems to be clinical in lashing them past Watty. In the second though, we went 4-2 ahead culminating in a superb individual strike from Greenwell. McNerney had also grabbed one at this stage as we looked sorted. Unfortunately, the opposition made it 4-3 and despite a brief panic, we struck another so it seemed curtains for Lambton, for whom Si Williamson was clearly pulling their strings. late on they pulled another one back and were on top. As always, we panic even though we're a few goals ahead. Robason gave away the ball immediately on kick off and this resulted in Si equalising. It was with its fair share of controversy as he handled the ball, but referee, Keith Brazier, played on. His shot was perfect as it squeezed in. Miraculously we had an opening, but yes - you guessed it - Little Red Phil was wide with a gaping goal in front of him. I'll tell you something, I bet he never gets a bird pregnant. Unfortunately it turned sour. Wardle got yellow card which was disappointing as we were all egging Keith to give him a red. He's had a bit of a clanger in these friendly encounter. Basically he hasn’t scored, although when Jiff's on the team, it's so easy to set him up. A simple ball behind the defenders and Jiffs on it like a dot and always beats his man. Sammut played really well. His crossing led to some of our goals and his overall play was very good. Everyone else did okay as well. Kelsey was quiet but solid. Stubba and Greenwell and Wardle spent all day arguing with each other. Robason was calm as always in a vain attempt to keep everyone’s heads up. McNerney had a good one but missed too many chances or rather, opportunities. Watty was strong in goal, especially when faced with Si's long, bullet throws. I personally did okay as well. I got stuck in and won some crucial balls. Amazingly I can easily last 90 minutes which superb athletes like Alfie (who I’ve always looked up to) can't seem to do.

Apparently this could be the last of our full-strength team turning out as most of the lads have their own sides to worry about no. Wardle and co will be outing for the New Demi, while Kelsey and co will be playing for Dennis Jackson's Redhouse team. But we'll persevere. Harper's been harping on about a re-match, which I'll happily entertain, but I don't think the strongest side will be out. Looks like another phone call to Holly and Alfie. Oxygen anyone?

26th July 2004

Alfie shows us that he hasn’t lost it.

Haldane, despite his bluster, never had it.

When Alfie summoned up the strength to wiggle his arms to signal a sub, my heart sank. We'd began to build a formidable right side partnership which was coming to fruition only to see it cruelly broken by Haldane’s inept second half performance. It was the beginning of the end. Sassco having lost so many players summoned "guest" players in the same way you would see guest stars on the Simpson’s. Hembrough and Haldane were the chosen two. Robason also came him to make his friendly debut. I was playing as well to solidify the back line. Within minutes I was blowing out of my arse due to the searing heat. Dennis Jackson’s team were strong. With Hunt, Kelsey and Gash playing for them, there was also Davo in goal, Sheepy and also Baker. So it was nearly 50% Sassco. We opened the scoring and it seemed as if we could pierce them open at will. Criminally we missed so many chances. McNerney had a clanger. Don’t know if he’s still got his little red book from his mental brain wash in China, but he needs to give himself a good kick up the Karl Marx and get back to the real world. Communism is dead and quite rightly so. The lasses looked like blokes and the blokes looked like Kelsey. Hembrough, his guest partner missed his own fair share of chances, although Hembrough did finish his set of goals with ease. It was good fun, my feet were dying due to the hard surface and most of the lads were ready to keel over.

In the second half, we should have finished them off. Greenwell missed a sitter from around 6 yards out and that was it. They kept scoring but we kept coming back. Eventually they went two goals ahead in quick succession and we were finished and couldn’t summon up the energy to fight back. I would have been happy with a draw, but the defeat was well deserved for Redhouse FC. With Hunt, Walker and Wilson pulling the strings up front, we simply couldn’t cope. I haven’t got a clue who scored for us. Think Hembrough got three or maybe four. At the other end we seemed to give them away. Indecisiveness led to a couple of goals and the reliance on the offside trap led to another few. Never mind.

Again, the usual words came out from several people that it was a shame we weren’t in any league, but ironically Dennis at the opposing end suffered the problems which blighted us in the early stages. No one paid him any subs and they came out of his own pocket – my lot paid me in full though. Not easy running local football you know.

18th July 2004

Tash, bang, wallop!

Sassco destroy Sunderland North 4-1. Tash is dejected.

Our normal pre-season game against William Harper’s side was still on the calendar despite ourselves not entering any league next season. This was Billy’s team based heavily on the Sporting Club and Durham Reserves unit, albeit a bit weaker. Last season we suffered a 3-2 loss – anyone remember Dunston’s last minute pile driver saved by Davo? Anyway we got a lot of credit for that narrow defeat, but for some reason, the key players for Durham seemed to think that it was a flash in the pan our performance. Well the team’s been running for nigh on two and a half years now and each season we always identified weak spots and ironed them out. Put simply, Tash’s minions were no match for a battle hardened Sassco team. We’ve been unbeaten since our final league game against Britannia. A superb 2-2 draw with a makeshift team (with me and the Tash in defence) against O’Neills followed by a strong team winning 5-2 in Killingworth. This time I changed the full backs. Galey, first choice, wasn’t there so I called up Kelsey, who wasn’t stoned, wasn’t pissed and was raring to go. Boothy came back to fill in the right back slot instead of myself. The rest of the line up was the same, only Jiff came in and I put Fatty on the bench, much to his chagrin, so that Jiff could fill up a fast front line with him and McNerney.

Tash’s team comprised of some new faces, but quality players such as McNaught, Hembrough, Barry Cook, Lee Butler and also the ever impressive Turvey (I think that’s his name) who turned Dalfest’s season around on the Tuesday. Also in the line up was Mickey Pearson, who consistently seemed to slag off Sassco at every opportunity last season, despite not really playing for anyone decent. The Tash rates him highly though, so he was at centre back (where he had a mare for us once a couple of seasons ago).

Kick off and immediately we smelled blood. Cross balls were used and we were being narrowly caught off side or lacked the final killer touch. But it was only a matter of time before we struck. Jiff, playing up front but coming in from the left, struck and the account was open. We had some minor scares. There were goal mouth scrambles but the defence held superbly. Now if I told the likes of Barry Cook and Lee Butler, the backline for Sassco would be Boothy, Kelsey, Gash and Stubba, I’m sure they’d laugh it off. I probably would. But then again, I’ve seen them this season and know their stunning ability. Gash and Stubba were nothing short of awesome in the back and kept the shooting on target to a minimum. Watty was also superbly marshalling the team and made certain of most dangerous crosses. Boothy looked extremely comfortable and Kelsey was just taking the piss. Stapes probably had a quite game, along with Dixon, but Dixon made amends in the later stages. He needs to stick to his position as out and out winger. Midfield was exceptional. The same duo, Greenwell and Gourlay, who played against NIFC, controlled the ball perfectly when they had it. Greenwell was getting stuck in and Gourlay wasn’t wasting a single pass. Up front McNerney actually had an off day. Some of his control was below par, but he made up for it and held the line so well. McNerney will be playing for the Tash next season and it seemed that he was the one they feared the most – which in turn, took the pressure off Jiff as bagged in the goals.

The second half continued as the first did. Wardle was now on, so we had a front four of Jiff, Fatty, McNerney and Dixon – all goal scorers. Excellent play from Wardle led to the second and decisive strike from Dixon. Unstoppable, just like the team. Now we were taking the piss. So many times we broke through and squandered chances, but eventually one of these led to Mickey Pearson on his arse. He misjudged a long ball and Jiff stole through to give us an unassailable lead. The Tash’s team did get one back and I would have expected an upsurge in their team’s performance. They got one, but we simply took our next available chance with a hat-trick from Jiff and a 4-1 score line. Outstanding performance from the top down.

I’m sure I’m going to hear it all from the other side about weak line up, etc. Yes that can be true, but our normal central defensive partnership is usually Robason and Greenwell in competitive games. We also have Galey who’s made the left back position his own. I also missed out Jona for this one as well. And also Muers, for all everyone slags him off. . . well, hang on, you’re right, he is actually shite. We’ll miss him out of this one.

I got the usual waffle about getting a team back in a league, but put your money where your mouth is lads. And it was, as expected, the ones who didn’t bother to pay that made the loudest noise – i.e. Fatty.

4th July 2004

Sassco 5 NIFC 2.

McNerney grabs a hat-trick. Greenwell snipered in the first five minutes.

For once, the problem wasn’t getting a team out and ready, the problem was getting there. Somewhere in the vicinity of Killingworth, there is an oasis of pitches. Eventually we found it after directions from the locals. The invasion had begun.

NIFC were down a few players and had to add two or three lads to their squad. We were missing Jeff, Robason, Muers, Hunt and Kelsey. But we had a solid enough line up. Personally, I wasn’t interested in traipsing all the way to Killingworth and not playing, so I was in. Gash and Greenwell were centre halves, Galey on the right. Middle we had Gourlay and Greenwell. Stapes on the left, Digga on the right and up front, we had Fatty and McNerney.

We outplayed them to be honest with you. We were never in any real danger of losing the game once we kicked off. We were a bit wary though, because some of them were built like brick shit houses. But an early goal from McNerney settled the nerves. Phil eventually scored three, but the highlight of the goals was Stubba’s impromptu long range drive which squeezed in. Wardle also scored and we should have had more. All in all we were comfortable. Gourlay played exceptionally well and Gash was also strong in defence and also in the tackle. Good game, good outing.

17th June 2004

Sassco 11-a-side ends.

Various reasons.

As most now seem to know, Sassco 11-a-side will not be taking part in the Tyne & Wear League for next season. There are several reasons for this.

1. Only three players paid the £25 on the 1st June. Galey, Watson and Dixon (as expected). The others just came up with an excuse and didn’t seem really bothered about paying it on time, despite several warnings. Obviously the majority of the players don’t really give a shit when it really counts.
2. Boothy has resigned as Team Secretary and General Manager. Reason was the bullshit he kept on getting almost every time he went to the league meetings, which are also amongst the most boring events I have ever been to.
3. The league have taken offense to all the fucking swearing on this website. This site is my own personal fucking blag to everyone and I can basically write what I fucking want. Free speech anyone? They have reported us to Durham FA for the website as they assume it brings their own league into disrepute. Well I’d be happy to wave my shiney arse to that. The real reason is that they simply don’t want anymore “ethnic” problems like they have had before. I was going to put a complaint in about every single racist comment made at every game after the problems during the Daisy game. They obviously bottled it and wanted it swept under the carpet. The easiest way to get rid was by sending it to Durham who would fine us extensively, thus bankrupting the team – clever stuff. It seems very ironic that when I made a complaint to the league about the racist abuse from Daisy, they washed their hands of it and said “send it to Durham.” Pretty amazing how they see a few fucking cunt bollocks swear words and seem to have gone out of their way to do something about it.
4. I had a cheque for £228 written out and handed into the league to pay up and wipe the slate clean. But when they reported us, the cheque was stopped. I have no intention of putting my hand in my own pocket to pay for a load of bollocks when none of the players want to chip in and the league treats us like shite. All the registered players will have to pay their share of whatever fine comes our way.

So it ends. But we shall rise again. Sassco are available for unofficial friendly games with any team. Our home ground will be the 11-a-side astro pitch at Downhill. Contact me if anyone is interested.

26th May 2004

Tash gets snipered twice!

McNerney bags a goal after Sangha’s hard work.

What’s the first rule for a manager arranging a squad?

If you want 12 players, make sure 13 are there. If you want a squad of 13 make sure you have 14.

The clanger this time was Cola Boy dropping me in it (work). Luckily I’d already made arrangements to call up two replacements, McNerney and the Tash. Everything was running smoothly so far. Gash was getting a jiffy on by saying we needed at least one sub, while I responded by saying I’d jammed T-Mobile’s communications with the amount of fucking texts I’d sent over the last week or so. We were playing a long arranged 11-a-side friendly against O’Neills, but the team was truly decimated due to an important night for the six-a-side at Downhill.

We got a squad together and all but McNerney were making his own way there, but lo and fucking behold, I got a text from him saying he’s waiting at the Downhill gates. Now call me a cynical twat, but I reckon somehow he got Herrington mixed up with Downhill. Simple really Shanghai and Beijing are all but the same. Despite being back for a few weeks now, I reckon he’s still suffering jet lag. So the time was 5:40 and I put the Magnet into full use and got to Downhill within 10 minutes. McNerney told me that we shouldn’t expect much from him as he’d been out of action a while, but by God I expected something now having raced down the Washington highway pretending to be James Pond.

Tash turned up slightly late, but to my surprise, everyone was there and ready. Nerney and Jiff were attacking. Stapes and Digga on the flanks. Gourlay and Gash were in centre midfield. I wanted the Tash in centre mid, but his jaw and arse dropped when I told him so defence it was for him. Jase was with him and Jeff on the left and me on the right.

We scored from our first attack. Jiff stole in and megged the keeper with ease. By this time, the Tash had been snipered twice. The bad thing wasn’t him being snipered, but the fact that the whole team saw it twice. Anyway, they scored from a defensive cock up. I’m sure the Tash was involved, but I couldn’t really see as I was hogging the touchline keeping out of the way of the hard football (blown up by Watty no less). We then scored a superb goal set up by myself. Under pressure, I connected with the ball during a melee and caressed it towards McNerney, who superbly chipped the ‘keeper. A delightful goal created in India and finished in China. But most who saw it would probably say that I just wellied the ball out of defence and McNerney did the dirty work. They then equalised when we decided to play the offside trap. It was 2-2 at half time and we were comfortable and expected to finish them off in the second period.

Amazingly, no one scored. We kept the same shape and had some chances on goal, but so did O’Neills. They probably came closer with more attacking possession, but their end product wasn’t there. Some superb crosses came in, but we seemed to deal with them. The hard pitch also took it’s toll. Stapes was injured, Digga (sponsored by Bukta) was trying on different pairs of boots every other stoppage and Gash wandered off injured. We held on though to be happy with a draw.

I was pleased and I think most of the lads had a good day out. Gourlay did quite well in the second half and so did Digga. Both dropped deep to help out the defence (wonder why they were loitering around where I was standing?). Great to see Phil and also the goal he scored. He started slow but soon got into the swing of things and began to beat players and strike from distance. Jiff was awkward as ever, along with Staples. Gash got stuck in with his centre mid role. Also in defence, Jase was taking the piss out of himself in front of his work mates by dropping a clanger or two. Harper was genuinely superb as always. Weather was good, opposition were good crack and there were no complaints. The real thing that pleased me was that I managed to get a Sassco team out which was fully capable. Stubba, Wardle, Greenwell, Boothy, Baker, Muers, Kelsey, Hunt, Cola Boy and Galey are all nearly 100% regulars. Any team which lost that amount of players would struggle and cancel, but we got the team out and more importantly, they were all Sassco players so at least they knew each other having played in some capacity before.

The interesting question is regarding the future of the team. I know for definite who will pay the £25. It’s first come first served really. I need 14 lads to stump up the dosh and those 14 will be first team and it’s down to them whether they turn up week in week out. Based on last nights turnout, it looks bleak for the likes of Stubba and Muers who I believe won’t pay up before the June 1st deadline – we shall see.

O’Neill Sports 2 Sassco 2 James Dickinson, Phil McNerney
Sassco Team: Dave Watson, Davinder Sangha, William Harper, Jason Amour,
Gash Brazier, Dave Gourlay, Chris Dixon, David Staples, James Dickinson, Phil McNerney

6th May 2004

End of season show.

Wardle, Gourlay, Muers, Kelsey and Junt on the score sheet

I expected another dodgy day. We were very short of staff. Stapes, Cola Boy, Wayne, Jase, Digga, Galey were all missing. Stapes and Cola Boy I knew about. Cola turned up to pay his fine wearing standard student attire (i.e. flip flops) and was tempted to play, even though he looked comatose. Jase was missing completely and I couldn’t get hold of him. Wardle surprisingly managed to get hold of Jeff's kit. Wayne was missing completely as well. Digga turned up to drop his kit off (and this time he wasn’t dressed like Neo off the Matrix like he was on Wednesday). Gourlay rang me the night before asking what time we were on to watch, but I told him to bring his boots - good choice as well.

He grabbed two goals in a very enjoyable end of season performance. We had a line up of Watty in goal, Boothy, Gash, Stubba and me (yes me!) at the back. Fatty, Baker, Kelsey and Emu were in midfield and Gourlay joined up around five minutes after kick off to partner Jona in attack. We went 1-0 down after a mix up but soon took advantage of our dominance. Kelsey grabbed the all important equaliser with an assist from Gourlay and we never looked back. Muers scored an unusual goal which almost looked like it went behind the goal and back in. Probably the horrendous way we set the nets up. The pitch had been cut and cleaned up so we didn’t have any car parts. Although I did use some seat springs in an innovative manner.

The second half saw Jona score and also Wardle score (finally). A long range effort which was perfect as it looped over the 'keeper. Forgetting the positives, we let two easy goals in. Boothy blames himself for one and I blame him for the other. Kelsey was chasing the midfielder (who looked like Dixon with long hair) and the ball overran, which meant Boothy had it, but he didn’t and they scored. This was the reason why he missed two scorchers in the last two minutes. The first one glanced the crossbar and that was it. But amazingly, he got a second chance a few minutes later but walloped it against the post.

Obviously if he went to church on a regular basis and was generally a good person he would have had one in the bag, like I did on Thursday evening.

Positive day, nice day, great weather and everyone up for it. We also agreed that a one off £25 is to be paid by all to keep us in the league and also a regular £10 at the start of each month instead of paying subs now. There was some disagreement over if someone paid and then was injured, but it was easy to work that out by either refunding the amount or carrying it over to the next month. The reason for the £10 is simple. It's now the players who pay's responsibility to be there. I'm quite sure that, for example, Wayne would have been there if he'd paid £10 at the start of the month. Also when we are short, we cannot guarantee any payments for people we bring in for the last minute. Also the £25 rule applies to all - if anyone says (on the 1st June when it's due) that they don't have it, then the lads who have paid will get their £25 back and we won't be entering on Saturday mornings. It's down to player power. Also Keith Brazier has turned down the chance to coach the team. He was very tempted but I blew it by saying he has to make Muers and Stubba better players.

30th April 2004

Projected costs for 2003-2004

Projected Costs for costs for season 2004/05
*Please Note all figures are approximate and are subject to change
Due prior to Start of Season
	£
b/f Outstanding amount due to league	170.00
Pitch Fees - City of Sunderland	120.00
Guarantee Fee	34.75
	324.75
Costs to be incurred during season
Monthly Fees (10 months x £43 per month)	430.00
Pitch Fees - 2nd Instalment due December	120.00
Xmas Draw re League	30.00
Presentation tickets re League	30.00
Referee Fees (20 games x £19 per game)	380.00
	990.00