Toddys and Sassco

A few weeks back, as I was getting booted around the pitch by the Lay brother's (both not even twenty years of age at the time), I decided that it's either time to retire or boost up the average age of my opponents. The crazy idea of reuniting Toddy's along with a bunch of players from the same era in the Sassco League (circa 2000-2001. Toddy's and Sassco from the early years are available in the Archive area) came about because the Tuesday league was in flux with only three teams left standing and the days being filled by friendlies and work's football. A lot of the players for Toddy's spent several seasons playing in the 6-a-side League.

Mission Impossible style; Gary Jackson began to recruit players while I was out, drunk (can't handle my drink) and falling asleep in some random Newcastle bar a few Friday's back. "You'll never get Chatty or Lewis there. Nee chance, not while I've got a tash on my lip!" said one anonymous critic. Yet as the day got closer, it seemed more likely. However, at 7:00pm on Tuesday 8th December 2009, there were only the two Mouaty's (both predominantly Sassco League players) and Gary "The Guillotine" Gilby, who's last action for Toddy's was the major injury caught on camera in the infamous Toddy's Documentary (available on my Facebook page somewhere). But then "Flash" Gordon floated in and a white van turned up with the rest of them. Lee Willis (aka Pea. Not sure if Lee Willis is his full name. No one actually knows), Liam Tait, Stephen Ridley, Steve Ward, Liam Dingwall, Darren Lewis and Gary Jackson.

Teams were as follows (with goalscorers in brackets). The score was a 5-5 draw.

100% Toddy's: Darren Lewis (1), Steve Ward (1), Liam Tait (1), Liam Dingwall, Gary Jackson (1), Lee Willis (1)
50% Sassco.co.uk 50% Toddy's: Stephen Ridley (1), Gordon Robson (2), Davinder Sangha (1), Paul Mouat, Keith Mouat, Gary Gilby (1)

  • Chatty's bullet header opening goal, ignoring the rules that goals weren't allowed in the box.
  • Pea struggling to adapt to the surface as he was wearing flip flops.
  • Chatty doing his hamstring and retiring for another 8 years.
  • Darren Lewis outpacing Stephen Ridley and nearly scoring.
  • Darren Lewis actually firing in a spectacular shot.
  • Gary Jackson's Ronaldo style half step overs. Yes - he's still got it, he's still got it.
  • Davinder Sangha scoring a goal in front of Billy Harper (who bottled it and turned up late).
  • Liam Dingwall performing 11-a-side sliding challenges on rock solid astro-turf.
  • Gaz Jackson's glazed eyes after realising we'd played 45 minutes for one half and only had 15 minutes for the second half.

Next game due to take place in early January (just waiting for the coldest possible day).

Definitely planned is a Sassco.co.uk v Toddy's 11-a-side game in August on Saturday (lunchtime kick off).

* a lot of the facts in this match report are complete bollocks.

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